hah! i haven’t logged in in nearly a month.
i don’t feel bad though. i never decided (with gusto) that i really was going to. journaling and mediation have been far more consistent. and this is a form of journaling. so perhaps the bigger question here is why blog.
chasey camaraderie had a lot to do with it but not all. let’s revisit this. in the meantime–guilt free baby! though clearly i’m concerned about it 😂
looked into my phone bill today.
only $383.28 left until my phone is paid off.
that’s $47.91 that will come back to once i have that baby in teh grave.
shoutout taking off the case, getting a few scratches, and discouraging myself from trading it in for a new one. if i kept the case on, my phone would be scratch free, and i’d have already sent it back for the “latest”
courtesy of Jerry Colonna via Tim Ferriss.
i already do: gratitude, classic diary “x, y, and z happened”, and exploring a particular topic or drama i’m focused on. that said the techniques below will be SUPRA helpful going forward:
“right now i’m feeling………………”
honor the different voices/selves in my mind. if it helps use different color ink. as they yell and whisper, give each of them screen time.
i also received some powerful QUESTIONS that will definitely prove helpful when suffering.
also good for thinking, meditating, and journaling. shit…questions i should share with others
- how have i been complicit in creating the conditions i say i don’t want?(COMPLICIT not RESPONSIBLE. there’s a difference. complicit as in what CONTRIBUTION did i have??)
- what am i not saying that needs to be said?
- what am i saying that’s not being heard?
- what’s being said that i’m not hearing?
these are all clearly classic therapy tools but they’re classic tools a reason. their dope.
thank you universe.
first up: sam harris email.
let’s go. 1 x 1. 💖
mark manson would say, “what are the problems you want?” often we play the movie of what we want in our heads but do so absent all the problems that come with said dream. instead reflect on the problems i’d most enjoy having…
nearly divested i grab hold of just enough. thanks for being consistent chase. zoo as well. i’ll return the favor shortly.
i love u all.
that’s the problem.
i always want it too easy.
now i feel the price of that.
think past short term gratification.
that’s the only way i’ll be satisfied now.
you almost got away, you sly post you.
i wrote more on my goals but i’m not all the way there…
i linked w/ tony robbins and decided they should be SMART goals: specific. measurable. attainable. realistic. time-frame.
i have two so far….moar soon. issa process. and i’ll keep chipping away 😊
today i cleaned the holy-shit out of my room. simply put, i really went to town. i moved all the items i don’t regularly use out. i also leaned out my closet.
it feels good to be free.
by the end of the day i was pooped. rest felt good. i’ve still been avoiding something though. goal setting. sitting down with myself and peering into a dream of the future scares me. i hold my breath every time i think about it. but i just realized something. though i’ve been avoiding the actual writing part, i have been thinking about it. catching a glimpse of some of the faces i want in my life. watching a few scenes which whisper the qualities that make the man i want to be. it’s still murky but tomorrow morning i will write. i will wake up at 0730 and go through this exercise. and then i will take a step forward.
p.s. thanks for texting when you posted chase. i SO forgot about posting today. for some reason i was logging yesterday’s post as having fulfilled today’s requirement. note to self: set alarm at 2200 to trigger a blog post check.
love you universe