there’s TOO much garbage in the shot–i didn’t put much effort into set design beforehand, sigh.
i didn’t secure additional cameras in time so angle and shot variation is poor. as in nonexistent.
i have no idea why the ISO was bumped so high so the footie is grainy af.
it’s too long.
there’s no intro for the show and so there isn’t much context. not to mention the convo itself is callous and we don’t have a history or an audience so there’s going to be a good amount of misinterpretation. we’ll come off insensitive– possibly ignorant.
i’m publishing anyway.
the first one will never be perfect.
i’m quite sure episode one will look nothing like the final product but i need it to get THERE. sooooo… yeah. it’s on. i’m shipping it anyway. thanks seth.
love you universe
as much as he comes up i’ve actually never been on a shoot with chase before. this chase for those of you that don’t know–link here. twas pure magic. the dance he had with the talent reminded me so much of what happens in theater or in film. the director guides the actor. sometimes giving them room to roar other times providing an ever so slight nudge in a different direction.
i was so impressed. what became clear was that chase has really internalized quite a few principles. this allows him TO BE CREATIVE in the moment. focused solely on exploring ideas, keeping morale high, and making sure the chemistry between subject and lens are intense. it was a true eduation. thank you brother. you are an esstential element of this journey.
love you universe.
today i scouted out locations for a music video i’m working on. the artist took me through her old neighborhood in bk and pointed out tons of gems along the way. i snapped a bunch of pictures to hold the vibe in my mind. this weekend i’ll sit down and synthesize those with my prior visions for the song.
today was new. a tad bit clunky but i emerged smiling. proud. one step further in the process. keep going nai nai.
[late. this was for 1/3/18]
today i shot an attempt at what i really want.
at 204am i’m reporting in. 2hrs late i know but i did the work.
afterwards i connected with a human i’ve been meaning to bond with for a long time. it was magic sauce.
long story short.
today was a win
and i will show rather than tell.
i didn’t produce the finest work ever. but i did the best work i could today. i’ll be shipping to you soon.
more more more.
the way is becoming clearer.
and just to be clear. i’ll be publishing a new convo that gets ever closer to teh show i want to show week by week. DO DA DAMN THANNNG
a close creative-in-arms (this guy) really cleared a lot up for me. i was (yes was) confused about where to house everything that i’m doing. what url/website name? what is the brand called? what is the service? what goes where? how many instas? blah blah–noise. and it was genuinely confusing. am i badkneestudios? (btw the twitter handle and the url for badknee are both snatched) am i stock henry? (i have the url and it’s fairly easy to change the names on insta here and there) should i clean up and go nigel philip? (eh. just not hype on this one but i get why first name/last name personal brands are a super idea)
buh man did he help cut through the noise… he pulled me right out of my identity crisis because he, like myself, have really been listening to one each other’s struggles.
he made it clear that i’m ALREADY functioning as stock henry. imma one-man band and that’s how i’ve been getting my creative rocks off. some people already know me as stock. it’s my rap name. it’s my creative name. and oddly enough as Chase put it (yeah, that’s his name, it’s getting too monotonous to keep referring to him as “that guy”)– i’m not a company or entity yet. i’m not a “studios.” ironically Chase also referred to one of my earlier posts (see, “quitting art“) where i stripped off another identity that kept causing me grief, the idea of calling myself “an artist” and the pressures that came with viewing myself through that lens. it would seem in putting down that lens i got out of my own way and thus proceeded further down the creative rabbit hole than i’ve ever been. all the way down until i reached here. now i’m blogging daily. now vlogging weekly. now i know my brand. i know my name. i’m building a team. beginning to flourish. i’m seeking out the truth and taking the next lesson be it scar or trophy.
while i’m on this kick let me get it all out. another close creative-in-arms qazi (see some of him here–i say some because this mofo is doing a lot) has also begun pushing me to post more to youtube. i avoid it because i see it as sort of a main stage..a bigger canvas. the unspoken rationale is that: i don’t have my “creative” project together yet and so i’m afraid & embarrassed to dance on stage. but like gary vee champions, “document” OVER “create.” show the journey. in fact, it’s better to capture it all. the WHOLE story. and while i recommend this pill all the time, i’ve never taken it. so. thank you both–chase and qaz. i know my name. and i know i must both document the dance AND honor the creative baby that will follow in it’s wake.
love you universe
stop having the conversation. the “way out” conversation. the, “does this qualify” conversation. the “maybe if i plan better it’ll be better” conversation. any and every thing that impedes immediate action is a barrier. sure there are lessons learned from the past that inform future choices, that’s called experience. everything else may just be an excuse. a closed loop of anxiety. stop having the conversation. do.
this concept is a new one for me. i’ve heard it in many forms. it’s about the process not the goal. practice daily. don’t tie my sense of self-worth to each thing i make. but none of that really hit home before now.
i still find myself placing SUCH WORTH on each transaction.
it’s paralyzing. with such a mindset, everything matters. every step is an inch forward in some grand procession where no mistakes are allowed and destiny’s condescending gaze sits regally perched on a pedestal. and what’s the trade-off you ask…..?
a creative rep.
- getting better at the thing that drew me in in the first place.
- benefitting from another lesson on the tail end of a “failure.”
- nullifying resistance’s song. that tune on loop that whispers: i’m not good enough. it’s not meant to be. maybe head in a different direction.
any rhetoric other than DO THIS THING I LOVE WITH ATTENTION AND FOCUS EVERYDAY, is bullshit.
WHEN I STACK THOSE CREATIVE REPS, I WILL WAKE UP IN MOTION. I WILL BE THE VERY THING I FOCUSED ON. a creator. because i created.
today i am the man who makes things. tomorrow as well. and proud or not, i must get my creative rep in because THAT is the goal. to be IN PROCESS.
the goal is to be the person that listens to my heart, intuition, feedback, experiences…and then, creates. that’s all i was ever trying to do. missing creative reps gets in the way of that goal. it invites distraction, frayed attention, and loss of direction. get those creative reps in.
love you universe
damn. i technically missed a day.
i’m posting this after the midnight deadline.
don’t let losses erode momentum.
new vlog up despite losing the drone. drone loss changed the flow of the ep and the direction of a few upcoming projects. fuck it. this was always the path. let’s keep rising.
this is episode 008.
today the drone went down. it’s hard to talk about.
i had already shot the most difficult portion of the footage and a small wig out at the end sent the drone crashing down.
it’s just a tool. it’s just a tool.
this burn hurts though. another reminder i won’t always have access. make the most of what i have WHILE i have it.
lost. MY DRONE
gained. NEW MONITOR FROM MY FRIEND AND FIGURINES FOR POSING. use what i have. both the lessons and current tools.
i’m going to practice writing/claiming an idea. then doing it.
here’s the skeleton of one.
to coziest by asap mob (musica)
1. drone overhead following me running (at night?) there’s also text here.
2. all the books i’m reading now on long cloths. these columns of cloth circle me. i lower to the ground. camera switches to my pov and the books conveyer-belt away from me. that’s a close up so viewers can get an idea of the books. prob semi slo-mo.
3. there’s also text here.
4. when i’m fully lowered to the ground. close up of my face. i put my left hand over the left side of my face. i move my hand to the left to reveal me jogging again. split screen jogging, otherside still shows the close up of my face.
5. all black
6. there’s also text here.
let’s see what manifests.
this is the raw.