something to fight for

i’m aware of some good “life-strategies”. a few healthy practices. the value of my support circle.  but what i’m searching for isn’t another strategy in order to replace one that isn’t working. i want increased awareness moment to moment to allow for better decision making. more minutes present vs autopilot.

the idea here isn’t to fully do away with autopilot mode, it’s useful. being in flow, for example, seems closely related to the phenomenon of constant unfolding thought. the issue is that most thoughts are erratic, rising and roaring forth from the void that is the unconscious.  i can’t control that torrid but i would like to practice waking from it more often. allowing for more points during the day, during my life, to reposition myself. mindfulness is key. i don’t need to “know” more, i need more moments where i can recall that i am separate from my thoughts. after all, they are in part simply the sounds of the city, memories that unfold “at random”, and millions of year of evolution whispering into my ear whenever it pleases. and most days i’m unaware that “i” didn’t make an appearance at all..

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