my usual strategy for overwhelm is to run the clock.  to exit the game.  to stop playing. to let the buzzer wail as anxious thoughts eddy about me. this let the pieces fall where they may, hands up in defeat mentality is an attempt to rid myself of desire.  rather than leaning into the challenge i release from engagement.

except it doesn’t work.

the desire stays with me. and because i’m not acting that desire mutates into shame, guilt, anxiety, or some other toxic force.  the obsession never fades but is instead corrupted and becomes corrosive.  this is one of the ways i deal with overwhelm.  this particular method isn’t healthy, it is sustainable–though the price is peace is pretty fucking steep, it’s not fulfilling, nor is it productive.

if i take a moment and look through my cookie jar (all my wins) the common denominator is leaning in. getting into bed and wrestling with the challenge at hand.  sometimes that’s diving right in, other times that’s scaling up slowly, either way, as always, begin.

 

love you universe
~sH

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